Deciding on a new home can be a huge, frustrating project when you're new parents or your family has recently grown. How do you tell when your current home is too small for your kids? What will your kids need in a new home or neighbourhood, and how can you make it fit your budget? How do you tour houses when you have an infant or a toddler and no way to get a babysitter?

Psychologists say that involving kids of any age in the house selection and moving process will help them adjust to their new home better, faster, and happier — but it's not easy. As a real estate agent with children of my own, I've been around the block (literally) on both sides of the issue, and I've learned some tricks over the years that I hope will help other young families searching for a home in Victoria.

Of course, I make sure my own real estate services are very kid-friendly — so if you think you might be moving into (or out of) town, drop me a line, and don't be afraid to bring your little ones on our viewings.

When do I need a bigger house for my family?

Maybe your kids are small enough that you don't need a new home for them just yet. Maybe things aren't working out and you feel like you should have been in a new place years ago. Maybe you're expecting your first child and you don't think your current apartment will cut it. While this seems like it should be an easy thing to tell, things aren't always that straightforward — especially when you're dealing with the kind of sleepless frazzle that often comes with a newborn.

It is absolutely possible to get a realistic picture of when it's time to move out, even when emotions are getting in the way. Here are some of the signs you can watch out for:

• What is the ratio of bedrooms to family members in your current home, and how much privacy is needed? How long will that last? Having two infants in cribs in a single room may be fine, but the toddler years won't be far away. Will the room be able to fit two beds, two sets of clothes, and two sets of toys? Can you navigate your childrens' room without weaving and edging around furniture? If the kids are in school, can everyone get through the bathroom in the morning without starting a traffic jam? Do your children bring friends over to play instead of always going over to their friends' homes?
  
  If the answer to any of those questions is "no", it's time to prioritize getting more space.
• Take a look at your belongings. Are there toys everywhere to an unreasonable degree, especially in important "adult spaces" like the kitchen? Is your furniture tightly wedged wherever it will fit? Are a large number of your belongings in storage? Are you unable to entertain guests, or is it difficult to fit everyone around the table during holidays? Yes? Probably time to move.
• How about your own space and position as a parent? It's just as important for parents to be able to have some privacy away from their kids as it is for kids to have some from their parents. If you or your partner works from home or as a freelancer, having your own office or quiet space to work can greatly improve your efficiency and the quality of your work — which can make it easier to nail that promotion or up that monthly pay. Or perhaps your current career or living situation isn't working out, and it's simply time for a fresh start.
• Sometimes outside factors can be the main drivers for a move. Neighbourhoods can decline as friendly neighbours move out and confrontational ones move in. Your lifestyle can change and require different services and facilities that your current home can't provide — easy wheelchair access, or a high school within walking distance. Your current home may be in poor shape to the point where repairs would cost more than finding a new house. Pay attention to how your environment affects the rest of your family as well as yourself.

When these signs point to the need for a new home, next you need to assess your housing budget. A real estate agent's experience and knowledge of the market can be a big help here, and they can refer you to a financial advisor if your situation is complicated. Take a look at your current debt, mortgage, taxes, bills, and consider how a new home and neighbourhood might affect them. Run scenarios on how a move could affect your costs and incoming finances, both increases and decreases. Would a new place help you save money on commuting or day cares? How much equity can you expect to get out of your current property?

If you're a Canadian citizen or permanent resident, have lived in BC for at least a year, and have never owned property before, you'll also be eligible for the First Time Homebuyers' Program, which can reduce or even eliminate the property taxes for your first home.

Ask yourself, "How much more can I spend each month while still staying on track for my financial goals?" Once you have that answer, you should have a basic starting point to begin your house hunting from.

This is also the point where you need to make sure that all relevant family members are taking part. Recent BC legislation has made it much more difficult to add a parent to a contract after the fact. If a parent may be needed in the homebuying process, have them meet with your mortgage broker or bank before you start house hunting, so they'll be pre-qualified and ready to go. Adding a parent onto an offer without taking this step can make home financing difficult and complicated.

What should I look for in a home for my kids?

Now you've decided to go ahead with a house hunt (or didn't have a choice — relocation is an unfortunate reality for many military families). What kind of home should you look for, and how should you get your kids involved?

• Start with a family home wishlist, and ask for your kids' input. Order your list by priority, and choose 3-5 Must Haves to go at the top.
• Decide how much size is too much vs how much is not enough. Midsized homes are more budget-friendly and have a wider market appeal if you need to sell again in the future. Consider options like lofts or bunk beds to make the best use of all available space. Single-story rancher-style homes have no overhead noise from foot traffic and are great for entertaining, but not always for privacy. Multi-story homes allow for outdoor views that don't look directly into your neighbours' windows, and can give family members more space.
• Different floor plans suit different kinds of families. Closed floor plans can be best for infants and very young children; they make it easier to childproof your home and use baby gates to keep your children in safer areas. If you have older children, open floor plans allow for supervision from a distance, while wide hallways provide room for racing kids or live-in family members who may have mobility issues. Keep in mind that older homes in particular tend to have narrower hallways, doorways, and lower head clearance.
• Assess the space and rooms available. A large living room will keep kids out from underfoot, while making it easier to entertain friends and guests. The kitchen and dining room should allow for meal making without knocking elbows. Make sure there's enough closet and storage space, and that the laundry room will fit a large washing machine (for all those clothes kids manage to dirty). Count how many wall sockets there are, and whether they're enough for all of your electronics.
• Pay attention to how the bedrooms are spaced. Bedrooms that are all close together make it easy to tend to and keep an eye on younger children. Older children and teenagers may appreciate the privacy of bedrooms that are spaced further apart.
• Catalogue features that may be safety hazards to young children, and how much it might cost to correct them. Could it be easy for a child to get trapped in a cupboard or closet? Are the stairs too steep for toddlers? Are there sharp corners on counters and shelves? Do any doors not close properly? Is the outdoor property fenced? Does the street have high amounts of vehicle traffic?
• Explore the neighbourhood and ask around to get a feel for the area. Get information on local crime rates and the nearest emergency providers. Keep an eye out for intimidating dogs in the neighbourhood, and any large sources of pollution. On the positive side, look for homes with access to good schools, shops, and entertainment, where classmates' homes won't be too far away.

Your real estate agent can help you with all of the above and more if you ever get overwhelmed. Offer them a clear list of your family's needs and wants, and you should be able to expect a return list of homes on the market that fit those requirements.

How should I tour homes with my kids?

A lot of agents and real estate guides will tell you not to bring kids on your house hunting tours, but that's not always practical for a family. Luckily, if you plan well and stay flexible, bringing kids along can be not only possible, but fun.

• First, remember that the kids don't have to come along on every tour. Involve them in the decision-making process, but only bring them on tours of the last few most promising houses you're considering. Early choices can be bookmarked online so your kids can view photos and explore virtual tours.
• If your children are very young, try to schedule your tour in the morning or right after nap time, when they'll be happy and full of energy. Most young children can go for about 2 hours on a home touring trip if it's fun. A good agent can fit between 1-3 property viewings in this amount of time. Plan for a lunch break if necessary, and plan your route ahead of time while taking note of possible rest stops.
  
  Be open to the possibility of last-minute adjustments or rescheduling — if your kids are acting up or getting tired, it's better to end the tour early than force them to continue.
• Arrange to follow your agent in your own car, so you don't have to transfer car seats or other necessities. Involve a friend or family member in the touring process if you can. They can help keep your child occupied, or watch over them while they nap in the car.
• Go over the rules with your kids beforehand: let them know not to leave your sight, not to leave with strangers, and not to touch without permission. Open houses in particular can be busy.
• Take-alongs you might find useful: snacks, drinks (in spill-proof containers), books, a favourite doll or blanket, a tablet or smartphone, a toy camera, mini flashlights and measuring tapes, paper towels. Do not bring colouring items such as crayons or markers.
• Don't just leave the kids alone while the adults talk. Make sure they're occupied with a game, or give them a task to complete. Checklists of things to spot (fireplaces, closets, number of windows), exploring nooks and crannies (with supervision), testing faucets, and making a list of things they like about the house can all be good ideas. Be prepared to answer a lot of curious questions. They may spot things you'd miss!
• Finally, don't let your kids call the shots on your final decision. Their input is important, but the decision is ultimately up to you as a homeowner. Surly teenagers and cranky preschoolers who try to dictate your choice of home should be told in no uncertain terms that you have the final say.

If all goes well, reward your kids for doing a good house hunting job. Take them to the dollar store or to get some ice cream before heading home — and treat yourself as well for a job well done!